The Key to Your Child's Heart

You may have heard that the best gift a father can give his children is to love their mother. He may be crazy about his kids, but the best way to show it is actually putting the needs of his wife above them. This is true for a variety of reasons.

While visiting a friend in Sacramento recently, I stayed in the home of Lorraine Loria, children's author and ministry director. I always find helpful literature on her crowded bookshelf and picked up this old classic by well known author and counselor, Gary Smalley. What a breath of fresh air!

I found it to be relevant, stirring, convicting and inspiring all at the same time.

Smalley describes four types of parents, two of which can raise children who feel good about themselves, but only one type which creates happy, responsible and responsive kids and adults. He also identifies the KEY to your child's heart and the 5 ways we can help kids (or anyone for that matter) open their hearts to us. One chapter ends with a challenging but enlightening list of 84 ways in which we can offend our children.

What Amazon says about this book.

"A repeat bestseller for two decades, this child-rearing classic cuts to the heart of the anger and alienation that mar so many modern homes. In this ultimately practical book, Gary Smalley outlines effective steps for parents to open up a child that has shut them out. He describes family-tested ways for parents to set limits and enforce them, and he reveals the simple but powerful secret for achieving a close-knit family. Learn proven parenting methods that can spell the difference between an angry, rebellious, distant child and a happy, cooperative one."Here are some of the life changing questions Dr. Elliff asked that weekend. “What could I do to cause you to feel more loved?" "What could I do to make you feel more respected?" What could I do to make you feel more understood?" "What could I do to cause you to feel more secure?"
“The first question I remember asking was: 'What could I do to make you feel more loved?' Jeannie’s answers over the years have given me great insight into what is most important to her.”

“Probably one that I have learned more from is: 'What could I do to make you feel more understood?' Her answer tells me what weighs on her heart. Over the years I have learned the deeper aspects of my wife’s emotional needs and because I love her so much I want to meet those need.”.

Remember, the kind of love we’re talking about here isn’t a feeling, it’s an action. A willful choice to fulfill her needs, take care of her, make her happy, and everything else he promised on their wedding day. It’s the decision to do his part to provide a happy home for everyone. This may require a measure of sacrifice, but as with anything of value, it is well worth it!